Friendships come in all different shapes and sizes. You don’t only make friends at school, you can make friends anywhere. Church, your neighborhood, a park, a youth meeting. And friends, don’t all have to be the same. You can be related to your friends. You can be friends with your mom, and dad, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, grandfathers, cousins. So on, so forth.
Your friends don’t need to be the same age as you. You can be in high school, and have a friend in elementary. It’s actually a good thing to have friends that are different ages than you. You can be like a mentor to your younger friends, and look up to your older friends. And then the kids that’re the same age as you… It’s nice to have friends who are going through the same stuff at the same time, someone to relate to, and who else can you sing Disney songs with, and who’s to say that you can’t learn something from them or younger kids? The point here is that, your friends don’t have to be the same as you. If God wanted us to all be the same, He would have made us that way.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Ever heard of the theory “Love Triangle”? Well, this is the only good one. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are “in love” with the person, just that you are in some sort of “relationship triangle” with that person, and God. You need this sort of “triangle” for the relationship to work. Without God being present, you’ll have an unhealthy relationship. My mom says that if you are pursuing a closer relationship with God, only unhealthy relationships will suffer.
Last time we were at C-5 one of the small group questions was “When do you think it is a good time, to break off a friendship?” The truth is none of us, want to break off friendships. Because we all want to be accepted, we’re looking for people who understand us. But sometimes, we might need to break off a friendship or redefine it. Maybe you found someone, and maybe that someone isn’t a great influence. Maybe that person doesn’t have a healthy lifestyle. In our small group a few people said that it would be a good idea to be friends with them still, in order to help them break bad habits.
So, maybe your friend has an issue, with, smoking. They aren’t allowed, but they still do. Maybe helping them is a good idea, but that doesn’t mean that they’re your best friend. I think, that I tend to shy away from A LOT of people. I think helping your friend is a good idea. But my biggest deal-breaker to keeping the friendship alive, is when the person has no interest in having a relationship with God. That’s not going to be someone who I am going to allow to be in my inner-circle and have full access to me. Because sometimes boundaries need to be placed, and people who are in the inner-circle, need to be moved to an outer-circle. That doesn’t mean I can’t be friendly with that person, because I should always be nice and respectful to all people. There are different levels of friendship, and each “friend” corresponds with one.
Proverbs 13:20 says
“He who walks with the wise, grows wise, but a companion of fools, suffers harm.”
It’s kind of like that phrase, I don’t know if you’ve heard it “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” They’re both telling you that, who you choose to be in your inner-circle can and will affect you, whether it’s for good or bad. If your inner-circle people are making bad decisions, overtime their decisions might not seem so bad to you, and then you start to make bad decisions. The people that I want around me are people that are going to push me toward Christ, not the people who pull me away. I don’t enjoy being around people who are “unhealthy” for me. Some people don’t see it. Especially girls, who are “in love”, they don’t see how unhealthy the boy is, they see the flowers, and the things he says. However, she does not see the red flags, or the sirens that her friends see. Because she is here, so obsessed with this thing, in the here and now, and how amazing he is today, that she doesn’t think about the “tomorrow” and how he will affect her then. She is so absorbed that she doesn’t see what her friends see, because she is infatuated and they are on the outside looking in, my family says “Zoom Out” it means “Hey, take a step back, look at the big picture!”
1 Corinthians 15:33 says “Do not be misled; ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’”
We live in a world, that is all about “quantity”, how many likes you get on Instagram, how many retweets and favorites on Twitter, +1’s on Google +… “Hey, I have a lot of friends; I’ve got 348 on Facebook!” Haha, no. Those aren’t the friends we’re talking about. I’m talking about the real deal. The friends so close that they’re family.
Many of you probably know, that my dad spent 9 ½ years coaching Southeastern University’s Women Soccer Team. We weren’t your average soccer team, we were, and still are family. We, together as a family, have a mission statement. Maybe you’ll find it helpful as well. It’s summed up in the acronym C.R.A.W.L.
Before you can walk you must learn to C.R .A.W.L.!
This applies to all areas of life, but we’re just talking about friendship right now. There are certain traits needed for a friendship, or relationship of any kind to work.
C- You need to be Committed to the relationship! You need Commitment for a relationship to work. Commitment to be able to work through your differences. Commitment to the relationship, you have to have Commitment!
R-Responsibility is needed for the relationship to be healthy. A responsible person, doesn’t do irresponsible things- Ok, I know for a fact that isn’t true, so they are Less likely to do irresponsible things. But you are responsible for your actions and being true to your word. You are responsible for taking care of the relationship
A-Attitude. Who wants to be friends with someone who has a bad attitude? Yea, that’s right, no sane person. Attitudinal issues can be some of the worst, depending on the severity. Having the right attitude can be helpful in any situation. And attitude is always a choice. It’s one of the few things you can control. Control the controllables. (in my best dad voice)
W-Work Ethic. Well, you need this one for just about everything. You have to have Work Ethic to be able to do things wholeheartedly and not halfway, you have to have good Work Ethic to be able to do a lot of things. In a friendship, or relationship of any kind, Work Ethic is vital because you need to both be able to do things TOGETHER, not, one person does all the dirty work and the other takes credit, not both do nothing, it should be both people contributing to the relationship TOGETHER. Proverbs 6:6 says “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.”
L-1 Corinthians 13:13 says “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
That is so true! Love, is what holds friendships, marriages, and other kinds of good relationships together! Love is the greatest blessing of all! Without Love, a lot of things wouldn’t happen. Because when people love you, they show they love you, not just in words, but in action. Because actions speak louder than words. You see, our lives would be pretty empty without LOVE! I mean, look around! Josh wouldn’t have Mary, without love. Which means no Fynn, or Emmersyn, and I know that would make, like all of the girls in here, very unhappy. And face it, without their love, we wouldn’t have this youth group, because love extends past the “husband and wife thing”. And isn’t God’s greatest commandment to love one another?
God’s love for you is Unconditional, and so is the love from your family. Let’s be grateful for what we have in the here and now, because tomorrow is not promised.
Friendship, is a very important thing in life, because God made us for community, and we need to treasure it, because, we might look away for what seems like a few seconds, and it looks, different. And that’s not bad or good necessarily, just different. Its friendships, especially those which help us grow closer to Christ that make our lives richer!
Let’s do the work, and find, people to C.R.A.W.L. through life with.
And just because I want this song to get stuck in your head too...
Here's a great song about friendship :)
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